Brownie Points

14 Apr

Don’t let your selfishness ruin your hunting time.

Don’t let your selfishness ruin your hunting time.

 

On my wedding day I asked my father for some marital advice, his response. “Nod and smile.” Until recently I didn’t understand what he meant. It was something that I had to learn on my own.

Before we started dating I sat down the woman who is now my wife and we had a little conversation about my addition to bowhunting and whitetails. That was in September and for the next 6 or 7 weekends I was in the timber chasing whitetails and not spending time with her. She found out real quick that I serious about hunting. I know a lot of new relationships don’t make it past the first hunting season, either because the severity of the addiction was never brought to the light or “the conversation” was never had in the first place.

I believe in brownie points. I believe that if you want to hunt every weekend in October and November and take two weeks off in a row during the rut you better be willing to make up for the time you will be away with backrubs, foot rubs, cleaning, to-do-lists, wine tastings, lifetime movies, and several other things that might not be on the top of your fun list. Now, not all relationships are like this and I do get my fair share of shit from my fellow hunters who don’t have to go through this “routine” (consider yourself lucky), but in the end I get what I want and with little or no resistance.

With that said, as the season wears on I do get the occasional “Can’t you give up one weekend?” and in the politest way possible I tell her “no”. Although, every year I get less and less of those comments. Because I think she really wants me out of the house.

My suggestions:

  1. Be willing to give something less important up. – I used to go shed hunting all almost every weekend in March, because I live an hour away from my hunting property I choose to cut back on the number of trips.
  2. Give her a massage. – This will not only get you some brownie point but may lead to you getting lucky. (The person who said that 60% of backrubs lead to sex is full of shit, it’s more like 5-10%)
  3. Do something you hate. – There are times I would rather cut off another finger than watch one more episode of Nancy Grace where an unexpected victim get raped and murdered or murdered then raped. Bombshell America!
  4. Go shopping. – This could fall under #3 but I feel it deserves a category all on it’s own because I hate it equally. Von Maur most recently.
  5. Housework. – One day I literally watched my wife walk in the house and suffer a stroke because her brain did not comprehend that I could actually fold laundry… needless to say she was happy.
  6. Send her flowers for no reason. – I love my wife, so I do this not only because I love her, but, chicks dig flowers. And when the wife is happy… the husband is happy!
  7. Introduce them into the sport. – Now my wife won’t go deer hunting because they are “cute” but will shoot a turkey in the face because they are “ugly”… works for me.

I love my wife and daughter and cherish every moment I spend with them. And for those guys who have been married awhile their wife actually wants them out of the house. Hell, I bet hunting season even saves some relationships because of the pure fact that guys are natural assholes and the woman needs the break. This post is not to piss anyone off, but, let the gentlemen know that there are other options to getting more hunting time and that kissing a little butt is OK! Who cares what you friends think, remember you’re married, and you don’t have any friends.

Trackbacks and Pingbacks

  1. The Wired To Hunt Podcast – Episode #38: Hunting Widows | Wired To Hunt - March 3, 2015

    […] – Interested in more of Dan’s thoughts on dealing with the challenge of balancing hunting with family responsibilities? Check out his blog post titled “Brownie Points” […]

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